It’s fair to say that I’m generally a ‘live and let live’ happy-go-lucky person. So when I saw that this week’s The Prompt was ‘anger’, I did wonder whether to do a blog post at all. After all, with anger often comes resentment and that brings wasted energy and negativity…
However, over the past 5 years or so, I have harboured frustration, resentment, disappointment – ultimately ‘anger’ that I didn’t have the pregnancy or birth that so many other women are fortunate enough to have.
My pregnancy was complicated due to a low-lying placenta. My birth experience was traumatic at best, due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I had an emergency caesarean section. Yes, I had been booked in for a planned section due to the complications, which medically I accepted but I hadn’t wanted an emergency section.
Deep down, I would love to have another child; a brother or sister for our little bear. Deep down, I feel miffed, even robbed that the decision has been taken away from myself and hubby. Deep down, those emotions ‘get me’. Deep down.
I’ve never been able to push (no ironic pun intended) these emotions aside if I’m honest. Deep down, I’ve always hankered for answers to:
Why did it happen to me?
I’ll never get these answers unless I delve, deep down. I don’t want to delve. I’ve got a wonderful husband and an amazing, beautiful, healthy, happy little bear. I’ve got a fantastic family. I love them a million times over, deep down.
This love that I feel for them is more powerful than any of the emotions that have led to the ‘anger’. And I thank ‘The Prompt’ for making me realise this. The Prompt this week has made me ‘put it to bed’.
No more anger towards these pregnancy conditions.
More gratitude towards my family (not that I wasn’t beyond grateful already).
I’ll still raise awareness of pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I’ll still be a part of the facebook, twitter and blogging communities that support fellow survivors.
No more anger.
Just acceptance, love and gratitude from hereon in :)
Read my emotional and inspiring true story ‘Diary of a Complicated Pregnancy’. Available now through my website at Virtually All Sorts. 50% of sales to the charity Action on Pre-Eclampsia. …and visit my facebook page or follow me on twitter @ComplicatedPreg
Also available – my indispensable guide to avoiding ‘Working Mum Guilt’. Whether you are about to return or have already started back, this book offers practical solutions and feedback from real Mums with real families in real situations. Covering topics such as Post Natal Depression, childcare options, yours and your child’s development and time management – Ditch the guilt today! … and visit my facebook page or follow me on twitter @WorkingMumGuilt